A reminder

Someone out there needs this reminder today.

Sometimes it seems like the more work I do on myself, the more work that needs to be done. It is a never-ending process. When I take a step back and look at the big picture, however, I can see that my life is gradually getting better and better. I have taken responsibility for my life and happiness in a totally new way.
I look at this quote as another reminder from the universe to be gentle on myself, even when I make mistakes. I haven’t made any big mistakes recently, but I am so far from perfect sometimes…wow. I can be harsh, critical, grouchy, not present with those I love, etc. I am trying to be better at all of those things, and that effort matters. It means that I care about the impact I am having on the world around me.
So…if you are reading this, you are trying too. Be gentle on yourself.
Much Love!
Nic Lynn

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Jealousy will kill you!

Jealousy is a feeling I still battle some days.  Currently I am dealing with my youngest child and a chronic condition.  It is easy to look at people who have children with NO health issues and feel a pang of jealousy.  A kind of "Why me?" moment that never does me any good. 

In my moment of jealous feelings yesterday, I noticed a post my friend made about this very topic.  So I spent some time reflecting and thinking more about it.  This is what I came up with:

---Jealousy is resentment towards someone for a perceived advantage or superiority they hold. It's a an unhappy or angry feeling due to wanting what someone else has.

---Fear is being afraid of someone or something perceived to be a threat, harmful or dangerous. An  unpleasant often strong emotion.

Jealousy is ruder than fear. To me, jealousy is lack of identity.

The jealous person technically knows nothing, suspects much and fears everything. Jealous people lack self confidence, suffer from inferiority complex, and fear others' superiority.

Jealous people don't want to see another have a good laugh and a good life, and as they continue to remain same way, you'll notice nothing interesting goes on in their lives because they've drowned themselves in so much negativity.

On the other hand, fear is the direct opposite of faith. Fear kills all that should be 100% awesome.

Fear is just insecurity and if not properly managed, could lead to hate. Fearful people are sometimes ignorant people. Jealous people are always fearful but fearful people aren't always jealous.

There are reasons why you should never be jealous of another, they include the following:

* You can never have same DNA with another

* You can never be duplicated

* You are your own designer's original

* There is only one set of your finger print, eye colour, brain, and body composition

Nobody can do what God has sent you to do, if only you had a clue of who really are, jealousy would be far gone and totally eradicated.

It's only natural to be jealous, but with maturity and discipline, you convert jealousy into love. 

You may lose weight, gain weight, became pale, look beautiful, look less beautiful, possess a particular kind of trait, but you see, there is no other version of you. Where you rule, God rules!
Eliminate all shades of jealousy and fear today, let's upgrade ourselves and make the world a better place. Yes We Can!

Much Love!


Nic Lynn

How to Smile for Yourself

How to Smile for Yourself

You can't worry and smile at the same time.  Try it.  First, smile.  Now, think of one of the typical worrisome or anxiety-provoking thoughts that messes with your self-esteem and sense of everything being all right.  For me, today, it's, "We are getting such bad weather and my husband and children are out driving in it." (Taking. A lot of.  Effort.  To feel that.  Anxious thought.  And smile.  I'm not succeeding. My smile melts into a grimace when I get close.)

But, I'm not talking about that kind of smiling.  I'm talking about a teeny-tiny, personal, private smile called the Inner Smile.  It's more effective than an outright grin.  I think the Inner Smile is more authentic.

 Why?  Smiling to yourself is like basking in love: you become your own best friend.  

Nobody is losing weight by reading blogs about losing weight.  (Not me, at least.)  Action is required of us.  You can't read a self-improvement blog and improve yourself by reading alone.  Action is required.

The Inner Smile is an action you can take.  Even if this is an action imperceptible to others, the Inner Smile, it's actually powerful stuff. 

Here's how I do the Inner Smile:  

1.  Let my mouth be very lightly closed 
2. Exhale through my nose deeply 5 times
3.  Let the corners of my mouth curl up into an almost-smile

I can feel my eyes soften. I notice that I've become aware of my breathing, that I am exhaling deeply. These two things will cause me to feel very relaxed.

 The "inner" part of the Inner Smile has to do with the way your body is reacting to this relaxation-inducing smile. Your breathing is steady.  Your worries have no room. You're calm. You're content.   

The next time your brain gets to worrying, whether it's right when you wake up in the morning, or just Sunday morning, on your drive to work, or prior to a difficult conversation–engage your Inner Smile. It's simple.  And effective. 
In the long run, the more often your body experiences calm, the more it will crave it. Just because you grew up with anxiety running through your body, doesn't mean you can't train it to love the opposite! 

Are you smiling?

Be kind to yourself. 

Much love!


Nic Lynn

What NOT to Do If You Value Inner Peace

I have been thinking and talking a lot lately about finding your own inner peace.  I have had some great chats with people on Periscope and Instagram about this very topic. So, without further ado, here is my list of things to NOT do if you want inner peace:
  1. Social media stalk. I happen to think Facebook is one massive social experiment gone wrong and a breeding ground for phoniness, self indulgence, and meme madness. But it’s also a necessary evil, an important business tool and a way to keep in touch with friends and family members we wouldn’t keep in touch with otherwise. But it should not be a place to investigate exes or that girl from the 8th grade who you haven’t spoken to in twenty years. I promise: nothing you find will change anything that happenedStep away from the screen and do something nice for someone.
  2. Fall into the comparison trap. This is a tough one, especially if you have a large social network and/or a history of codependency that leaves you hungry for external validation. There’s no quick fix here but limiting your time online and around other triggering people can help. Instead, spend time doing things that affirm your desires and passions. Your journey is precious precisely because it looks nothing like anyone else’s.
  3. Break your own boundaries. I’ve had to learn this one the painful way. Whether it’s a toxic family member or a work situation that you can’t keep your paws off, it’s helpful to understand your limits. For instance, if you know being around Aunt Susan for more than a couple hours makes you crazy, don’t stay for coffee and dessert! Sounds obvious but it’s easy to cave if you have a hard time saying noJust remember, you’re the one that has to live with the emotional aftermath.
  4. Excessively watch the news.  Yes, it’s important to be informed, to have a sense of what’s going on locally, as well as on a national and global level. And not just because it makes you a more enjoyable dinner guest. Having a grasp of politics and cultural events expands the mind and enriches your life, but watching the local news several times a day or being glued to your twitter feed will just make you feel bad.
  5. Be seduced by online personas. You may notice a theme emerging here. Look, I love social media as much as the next gal. It’s just that I also know how destructive it can be; the ways in which it becomes obsessive and sadistic in nature and before long, you’re an hour deep in your Instagram feed, wondering why your clothes, makeup and condo are no longer as great as you thought. Again, know your limits and remember that your life—and worth—is not measured in likes and follows.
  6. Spend time with people who give you the ick vibe. And by that, I mean, the people who activate that pit-in-the-stomach feeling, make your hair stand on end, or otherwise give you the creeps. One of the more important parts of trusting yourself is learning to listen to these feelings. Our body is constantly communicating truths our minds haven’t yet picked up on—don’t discount these divine signals.
  7. Try to change anyone but yourself. Just, don’t. You know the effort required to make even a small, sustained change in yourself? Well it’s ten times harder when you’re trying to force a change from the outside in. Not only will the other person resist and resent you but it won’t work. You’d be better off adjusting your perspective and then looking at what changes you may be delaying in your life.
  8. Accept advice from people who aren’t living the kind of life you want to live. Think about it. Why would you let someone who’s never started their own business discourage you from doing so? In the same way that it’d be silly to solicit dating advice from someone who’s living a celibate life— there’s nothing wrong with the path they’ve chosen but if it’s completely foreign from your own— why seek guidance here? I’ve always found it most helpful to have a group of mentors, or various people I can consult based on the issue at hand. Options breed answers.
  9. Constantly question what’s coming next. There’s few things I know with crystal clear certainty. This is one of them: life is supposed to be lived with blind spots. If we always knew what was around the next turn, well, we might just turn around. But it also ruins the surprises. Instead, take each day and season as it comes and there’s nothing you can’t handle.
Hope you enjoyed!  Much Love!


Nic Lynn

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