Over the course of my adult life, I have found that I am a sort of sweeper. Frequently, I find that I am left to sweep up pieces of many situations of my life. Many of these pieces that I sweep up are either broken due to myself or the relationships I have with others. And for many, many, many years, I've hoped that someone else would come in and sweep up what's been broken.
Today, I know that no one carries the broom but me. It hit me the other day as I have finally started a daily routine to improve my health and mental well-being. I've been waiting for others to take responsibility for my feelings. In reality, the only person who can gain closure to any situation that has had an emotional impact on us is ourselves. We have to own it in order to let it go. Can I go back in time to change events? No. Can I keep wondering why certain things turned out so damn bad? Not worth it.
All of the emotional pieces; anger, frustration, hurt, abandonment, joy, love. Those are mine to pick up and put back together the way that is the most healthy and constructive to my life.
And, I am ready to do this. I am absolutely resolved to not sweep my past under the rug. I am choosing those emotions that I want to put into the larger puzzle of my life and tossing away the ones that cause me the most grief.
So I will sweep up my own messes because my broom knows my corners the best. And even though it may not be fun when I am standing in the middle of the mess, when the mess is swept I can say "I was the one who made that floor shine."
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