What Do I Do With All This Shame?
Shame. It is an emotion I feel pretty regularly. As far back as I can remember, it has always been there. Every mistake I have ever made led to a feeling of deep shame. Maybe it is good because it means that I understand the difference between right and wrong. My moral compass is intact. Problem though? I just keep making the mistakes. How to break that cycle?
It starts with a decision. I decided I am going to let mistakes be a learning experience and get myself into an upward spiral. Changing directions is changing my mindset.
You see, we can rise above the cause and effect of shame. Instead of blaming and judging ourselves, we can choose to love and to transform our thoughts and hearts away from the past behaviors.
When we choose to forgive, accept and love ourselves, the effect of shame changes. You suddenly see you no longer have to suffer in the pain of regret because you are allowing what you learned from the mistake to push you up into a higher path of wisdom and love.
The choice to to transform your heart will change your future behaviors. This means you are less likely to make that same mistake that once caused you shame. And if you do? Grow from it, don't crawl back under it.
Guilt and shame are normal behaviors. It is also normal to experience the pain or hurt we cause to someone when we act selfish. But guilt and shame don't have to "damn you to hell". Just make the choice to use those experiences. Let them give you a deeper love for others and for yourself knowing you are going to grow from it.
So, today I choose to love and forgive myself. I hope you do too!