Time To Move On.
Always one to be proud of being described as kind, loving, generous, sweet; I let denial prevent me from seeing that some people described me as controlling, angry, fixated, obsessive. When I finally realized that facing the truth was the only way to move forward, I felt desperate to overcome these bad descriptions. Down deep, that isn't who I am. Trying to find a solution, I reached out. The advice given to me is truly making a difference so I wanted to share it with my readers.
"Your thoughts affect your emotions. You may not control the external world but you do have full control over what thoughts you allow to occupy your mind. Guard your mind. Never act upon a bad seed planted there. Never give it time to grow or become a habit. Choose thoughts that will lift you up, strengthen you, that are truthful, and will bring joy and peace to your life. Meditate and pray when negative thoughts arise. Choose only friends that want to lead you down this right path too."
You see, I grew up feeling as though I could never please anyone that was important in my life. Living under a cloud of "never being good enough", this process continued into adulthood. Going from spiritual highs to spiritual lows. One minute everything seemed ok and the next I would crash and burn. Trying to please everyone is a recipe for stress, misery, and frustration. And while worrying so much about pleasing everyone around me, I lost myself. It took a while, but now I know that it isn't selfish to have self-love. It is actually vital.
I accept that I have flaws. I am letting go of all the mistakes I made in the past. I am having faith that brighter days are ahead.