That is where my head and heart are today. I had a very tough morning yesterday. Answered prayers pulled me through and now I know that 'now' is the only place I need to be.
I don't know if I have ever believed that people could just be present. I always thought "If someone is just present, where does the past fit in?" Always one to try to rectify my past by analyzing every moment of it in hopes of solving problems that have long ago passed. I would search my brain for months and months trying to understand why I made certain decisions or choices. The reality, however, was that I was really just trying to find places to lay the blame. Any place to lay the blame that wasn't ME.
I am starting to finally see that it really doesn't matter all that much. Yes, we should have an appreciation for the past. You know, been there done that. What I see now is that always revisiting the past doesn't leave a whole lot of room for right now.
This leads me to be stuck on the cliche "Just let go". So many times people have told me that very thing and I would even repeat back "You are right. I am going to let that go." I never truly let go before because I was scared of losing who I was. I believed I was what my past was.
I am not that person anymore. There is such beauty and grace in letting yourself move on. Let the crap go and have faith. Today I won't think about how I can get all that time back, I am just moving on.
And for all the people that once told me to let go, I don't think you are crazy anymore. I think you were actually right.