Happiness is Possible

I used to think that happiness avoided me.  Where were the things that could make me feel content and at peace?  It was easy to blame life circumstances and mishaps for the constant unease.  This evasion of happiness was causing an unending conflict in me.  "Why was happiness not ever coming my way?"  Let me tell you now, this is not good thinking for emotional growth!

I am coming to find out that the fact is, I am the one who has been dodging happiness and not the other way around.  Instead of surrounding myself with joy, I was running the opposite way. Hiding myself away, I was fearing the consequences of letting down my guard.  Speeding hard from the paths that would lead to actual happiness, I was locking the gates of the wall around me in fear of reliving any past hurts again.

So, what to do? Focus on what makes you happy.  Strive boldly ahead instead of retreating back inside.  Learn to love yourself because the real peace in life is inside of you. Accept and face the past then move on.  Realize that now is so much more important than now.  Now is when you can make changes.  Then is not.

You know that old saying "Easier said than done."? My retort for that is "It is easier done that continuing to hold all that garbage in."

Wishing all my readers much love and happiness today!

xoxo,

Nic Lynn








Time To Move On

Time To Move On.

Always one to be proud of being described as kind, loving, generous, sweet; I let denial prevent me from seeing that some people described me as controlling, angry, fixated, obsessive. When I finally realized that facing the truth was the only way to move forward, I felt desperate to overcome these bad descriptions.  Down deep, that isn't who I am.  Trying to find a solution, I reached out.  The advice given to me is truly making a difference so I wanted to share it with my readers.

"Your thoughts affect your emotions.  You may not control the external world but you do have full control over what thoughts you allow to occupy your mind.  Guard your mind.  Never act upon a bad seed planted there.  Never give it time to grow or become a habit. Choose thoughts that will lift you up, strengthen you, that are truthful, and will bring joy and peace to your life. Meditate and pray when negative thoughts arise. Choose only friends that want to lead you down this right path too."

You see, I grew up feeling as though I could never please anyone that was important in my life. Living under a cloud of "never being good enough", this process continued into adulthood.  Going from spiritual highs to spiritual lows.  One minute everything seemed ok and the next I would crash and burn.  Trying to please everyone is a recipe for stress, misery, and frustration. And while worrying so much about pleasing everyone around me, I lost myself.  It took a while, but now I know that it isn't selfish to have self-love.  It is actually vital.

I accept that I have flaws.  I am letting go of all the mistakes I made in the past.  I am having faith that brighter days are ahead.

Much love.

xoxo

Nic Lynn







I Didn't Realize Who I Was Until I Stopped Being Who I Wasn't

I Didn't Realize Who I Was Until I Stopped Being Who I Wasn't.



I remember in my teen years, I always tried to portray someone that was fully put together.  Never would I even imagine showing the fact that I had any doubts or insecurities. Truth though? Inside was a tortured soul.  I hated my bad skin, small chest, deep voice, and the awkwardness I had around any adult.  If I wasn't sleeping I was nervous and overthinking every move.  I spent most of my time trying to hide my flaws and show the "perfect me" that I created.  The pit of anxiety in my stomach just deepened.

In my twenties, I was convinced that the love of a man was expressed through is sexual attraction to you. I could control that and anything uncontrollable was too damn difficult to even face.  Needless to say, I ended up with different dads for my girls in an era where that was unacceptable.  Solution?  Pretend it wasn't true and just keep living life like a Barbie Doll.  Find something else to excel at to take the focus off my screw ups.  Enter college.  Oh, did I mention that the pit of anxiety in my stomach grew even deeper yet?

My thirties?  I rose to the top of my field but never dealt with all my crap.  I bragged about my college degrees and I felt driven to only be the best in my career. I became the top dog at my company and felt that an affair with the owner only showed further how "in control" I really was.  Conquering everything right?  As my stable marriage fell apart, I was sucked into a world of lies, crime, and disaster.  My only concern? "How does the world see me?".  With that thought, I kept on the bad road but dressed myself in nicer clothes and let the world know I had spend the weekend in an amazing hotel dining at great restaurants.  That pit of anxiety in my stomach had now reached my toes.

It took rock bottom for me to realize that the way I was living just wasn't working.  When I say rock bottom, I mean I found the base of that pit of anxiety.  It was lined with despair, hopelessness, shame, guilt, arrests, ridicule.  The only way out was to face it and fix it and start climbing up.

Fast forward.

I didn't realize who I was until I stopped being who I wasn't.

Today I am a stay at home mom.  That luxurious life is behind me by choice.  Most days I am in leggings, tee shirts and pony tails as I make chicken nuggets for my toddler and watch my soap opera.  I've put on twenty pounds and don't much care.  I married a humble guy who knows and loves me despite my flaws.  I faced my demons and found that I have to face them time and again because they never really leave but I am okay with that.  I am okay with my past.  I am okay with my mistakes.  They aren't who I am but they helped shape me anyway.  

Why am I telling you all of this? In my teen years it may have helped me to know other people were feeling what I was.  In my twenties I would have felt solace knowing I wasn't the only one messed up. In my thirties, talking to someone who felt the turmoils I felt, I could have possibly avoided some disasters.  I want anyone who reads this to know that you are not defined by anxiety, insecurity, mistakes, relapses.  You are defined by YOU, by your heart, your mind, your soul.  Get to know YOU.  Let go of the crap that you feel is holding you down.  That will free you.  Realize who you REALLY are and stop being who you AREN'T!

Much love!

xoxo,

Nic Lynn





Merry Christmas Wishes

Merry Christmas Wishes

I wish you peace in your anxious times.
I wish you joy in your sad times.
I wish you light in your darkest times.
I wish you rest in your weary times.
I wish you strength in your weak times.
I wish you courage in your unsure times.
I wish you love in your loneliest times.

For all who read my daily posts, I wish you the Merriest of Christmases.

Today, don't look at other's and see what you don't have, look inside and see what you do have.  

Air in your lungs.
A beating heart.
The blessing of another day.

Much love today!

xoxo

Nic Lynn



Take The First Step

 Many people live their lives in quiet misery. People get caught up in their depression, anxiety, mental unrest.  They lock themselves away and deny that their is a solution to their problem.  It is incredible how many people live this way.  Please know, you are not alone.
For people who currently are gripped by depression, addiction, social anxiety, I want you to know that there is no situation that is without hope.   There is also no person who cannot overcome their present difficulties.  I was always told "A man's courage is his greatest asset". It is an act of courage and strength to admit you are struggling.  It is an act of courage and strength to reach out and ask for help.  It is an act of courage and strength to face up to your problems.
An old saying goes "There is safety in being hidden but a tragedy never to be found". You are too precious and important to your family, friends, community, and yourself to stay hidden any longer.  In the history of the world and for the rest of time, there will never be another you.  You are a once off, completely unique.  The real you is waiting to be found but to get there you have to start your journey inwards.  A boat is at it's safest when it is in the harbor but that's not what it was built to do. We are like that boat.  Starting your journey inward will reveal buried truths and unspoken fears.  Start the journey anyway because this will emerge a new strength in you.  This strength is what will help you navigate through the choppy waters of a painful past.  Eventually, however, you will discover a place of peace within yourself, a place that encourages you to head into the world with a new found faith and ability to live your life to the fullest.  The world will no longer be a scary place.

The most important thing is to take that first step.  Please. Take it.

Much love!
xoxo,

Nic Lynn





You Are Enough.

You Are Enough.


Today I am reflecting and considering my own self-worth.  

No matter how well you think you carry yourself, if you do not see your own value, it will show. Your thoughts affect your emotions.  Your emotions affect your decisions.  Your decisions affect your life.  Knowing this, you also need to Know Who You Are!  You weren't placed on this Earth by accident.  You have a Higher Power and to Him you are valued.  

Insecurities are normal but should never run your life.  You may look at someone and be envious because they don't have the one thing you are insecure about.  Truth? They probably thought the same when looking back at you.

So let me be the one today to remind you:

You are loved enough.
You are good enough.
You are smart enough.
You are beautiful enough.
You are strong enough.


xoxo,

Nic Lynn




What Do I Do With All This Shame?

What Do I Do With All This Shame?

Shame.  It is an emotion I feel pretty regularly.  As far back as I can remember, it has always been there.  Every mistake I have ever made led to a feeling of deep shame.  Maybe it is good because it means that I understand the difference between right and wrong.  My moral compass is intact.  Problem though?  I just keep making the mistakes.  How to break that cycle?

It starts with a decision.  I decided I am going to let mistakes be a learning experience and get myself into an upward spiral.  Changing directions is changing my mindset.

You see, we can rise above the cause and effect of shame.  Instead of blaming and judging ourselves, we can choose to love and to transform our thoughts and hearts away from the past behaviors.

When we choose to forgive, accept and love ourselves, the effect of shame changes.  You suddenly see you no longer have to suffer in the pain of regret because you are allowing what you learned from the mistake to push you up into a higher path of wisdom and love.

The choice to to transform your heart will change your future behaviors.  This means you are less likely to make that same mistake that once caused you shame.  And if you do?  Grow from it, don't crawl back under it.  

Guilt and shame are normal behaviors.  It is also normal to experience the pain or hurt we cause to someone when we act selfish.  But guilt and shame don't have to "damn you to hell".  Just make the choice to use those experiences.  Let them give you a deeper love for others and for yourself knowing you are going to grow from it.

So, today I choose to love and forgive myself.  I hope you do too!

xoxo,

Nic Lynn




Suppressing Anger




Suppressing anger can be toxic. Just like resentments.  It is like taking poison intending the other person to die.  It churns.  It infects you.

Someone had said something mean and unkind to me. The top of my head blew off ( at least it felt like it did) . Anger started to swell up in my body and my heart rate went sky high. My breath became shallow and my blood pressure spiked.  I always prided myself on being a compassionate and loving person. Well, where was that kinder person now?

I first tried to talk it through with this person, knowing deep inside that anger isn't the solution.  My ability to communicate; however, was impaired.  Our discussion went from misunderstanding to rude to plain mean. That is when I just ended it.

I started to think "What made them be unkind to me to begin with? What did I do? What is wrong with me?" 

This pattern kept repeating itself each time any interaction with anyone left me feeling hurt.  I decided, recently, that this had to stop. 

I prayed and mediated and reached out to some very great people for advice, And then I realized how toxic my thinking had been.  Not only is anger normal, it was appropriate at the time.  Pushing down anger and resentment was only causing me to feel like a failure and blame myself.  Denying my own anger was leading to my own self-doubt and feelings of negative self worth.  This is the part of me that I need to heal. Healing starts with admitting my emotions, feeling them and letting them pass.  Don't react. Realize. 

So now I am focusing on feeling my feelings.  Not reacting to them but embracing them because I am human. I am going to make amends, transform my thinking, begin to love myself, and move on to my next challenge.

xoxo

Nic Lynn









Be Present




Be Present.


That is where my head and heart are today. I had a very tough morning yesterday. Answered prayers pulled me through and now I know that 'now' is the only place I need to be.

I don't know if I have ever believed that people could just be present.  I always thought "If someone is just present, where does the past fit in?"  Always one to try to rectify my past by analyzing every moment of it in hopes of solving problems that have long ago passed.  I would search my brain for months and months trying to understand why I made certain decisions or choices.  The reality, however, was that I was really just trying to find places to lay the blame.  Any place to lay the blame that wasn't ME.  

I am starting to finally see that it really doesn't matter all that much.  Yes, we should have an appreciation for the past.  You know, been there done that. What I see now is that always revisiting the past doesn't leave a whole lot of room for right now.

This leads me to be stuck on the cliche "Just let go". So many times people have told me that very thing and I would even repeat back "You are right.  I am going to let that go."  I never truly let go before because I was scared of losing who I was.  I believed I was what my past was.  

I am not that person anymore.  There is such beauty and grace in letting yourself move on.  Let the crap go and have faith.  Today I won't think about how I can get all that time back, I am just moving on.  

And for all the people that once told me to let go, I don't think you are crazy anymore.  I think you were actually right.  

xoxo,

Nic Lynn







Choose Your Direction



Every moment of everyday we have to choose a direction.  Whether we decide to go left or right, it is always a specific direction we take and it is all relative to where we want to go.  Sometimes this is a scary task when you hold on to fear of the unknown.


There have been many, many times in my life, that I wished I could just whip out a magic compass that would point me in the direction of happiness.  Sadly, the magic compass failed to appear and I would find my self walking in the wrong direction or running like a crazed person right into the midst of self-destruction.

I have come to realize I DO have an internal compass, it is just not magic.  If I take the time to craft this compass with the insight of how I want my life to be, it can help to move me into the direction I choose.  Problem here?  I am still learning to navigate these choices.  Each day I spend some time trying to understand the consequences of choosing the wrong direction and focusing on the aspirations of moving toward a better way.

This my friends is the direction bearing tool that is helping me to stop and look before choosing a direction. It doesn't stop me from making a every mistake, but again, it isn't magical like I once believed.  It only works if I work it.

Today I am going to look before I leap.  I am going to choose the path of health and happiness.  Today I am steering away from negativity because I can control my compass!

xoxo,
Nic Lynn



I Won't Stay Down.




Yesterday was a very hard day for me.  I just couldn't get out of my own negative thoughts.  One bad thought led to the next and then to the next and before you knew it I was wallowing in self-pity and feeling like there is no way out of it. Today, I am deciding that won't be my day. No more feeling sorry for myself.

Difficulties, failures, and sorrows can force their might on us and cause us to fall apart. The key is to have courage and patience to endure all the storms of life.  It is important to remember that the greater the challenge in life is, the greater the opportunity to grow and overcome.

Don't focus on yesterday . Don't even look to tomorrow. Just be in this day.  Pursue your goals in the face of difficulties. Convert your failures into victories and allow God to turn your sorrows into Joy. Never retreat from God, from loved ones, or from life.  You are precious to the King of Kings so it is time to MOVE ON....from FEAR to FAITH.

I won't stay down.  I am going to move on.  Now.

xoxo,

Nic Lynn



How to Know that God Answers Prayers

Why is Life Unfair Sometimes




A hard fact to face: Life can be unfair sometimes. A lesson to learn: that isn't a reason to give up.

For years I suffered silently from past and present scars. The memories of bad things form years ago were so ingrained into me that it sometimes felt like it was still happening. I could actually still feel the pain as if someone was stabbing me.

Yesterday was a tougher day than usual. Things seemed to be crumbling and there seemed like no solution. I felt broken and defeated and, for a moment, hopelessness.

To finally get to a place of healing, of overcoming, of joy, of success, I had to surrender my mind to my God. Then what happened was amazing! God honored his promise to give me strength and I felt the power to cut through the lies in my head and to move beyond the hurt of days that were gone. I kept on praying and there it was! My boldness. My courage. My peace.

So today, if you feel surrounded by evil or negativity, just let go. Say a prayer. Trust God.

xoxo,

Nic Lynn


From Broken To Blessed




I know what sadness is. I know what it means to hurt. I know some of the worst nightmares. I know so many painful things. I don't know why but I do know it has made me stronger. It has made me more sensitive and has given me the will to survive....to overcome.

The storms of my life have made me the person I am today. I am learning to let go of bitterness and anger. I am replacing the hurt with love and hope and faith.

Life is never easy but my Higher Power gives me strength each day. The realization that you have to be broken at times to change into something better than before is amazing!

So today, no matter what, don't give up and don't let other's give up either.

Go from fear to faith....

From anxiety to anticipation...

From broken to blessed....

Remember, you are never too broken for God to use your story.

xoxo,

Nic Lynn